Beef

The fabric of our lives.

Wanted

1 lonely rich old man looking for a nice girl to inherit his estate.

Will even call you "Uncle."
Call at: 1800IMBROKE

Wanted

250 lbs. of butter.

Either that, or I have a giant piece of toast
and 300 lbs of jam for sale.

Wanted

1 telekinetic, psychokinetic, intelligent being capable of cleaning out a garage full of junk with its mind.

342-4776 or 32psych

Dr. Steve's Miracle Drug!

"It'll cure what ails you"

Ask your doctor if Dr. Steve's Miracle Drug is right for you.
In fact, since Dr. Steve is a doctor,
you can just ask HIM whether it's right for you.
Call 847-2847


Common side-effects include aches, drowsiness, nausia, stomach ulcers, benign tumors, dyslexia, warts, congestion, ear aches, internal bleeding, mad cow desease, and gangrene.

Do not take if you are pregnant, have been pregnant in the last six years, or plan to get pregnant any time in the future.
(or if you have a cold or a pimple)

For Sale

Anything.

Available 25 hours a day.