Days 1 - 4
We got out of the dock a little later than planned. One of the new guys we hired last night was a bit late showing up. Captain Fuzzbeard was going to have him shot, but the only one of us who actually had a gun handy at the moment was little Timmy. Well, he wouldn't part with the gun, and insisted that he get to "practie punishing tardy scum" so that he would be "really super good" at it. So Captain Fuzzbeard gave in since he didn't want to waste any more time, and Timmy attempted the execution. Well, needless to say, he missed completely and set the guy's sack of clothes on fire. Fuzzbeard was tired of waiting, so he decided that it was enough punishment and hustled everyone onto the ship.
Saw a seal this morning. Timmy wanted to catch it and keep it as a pet. Jim wanted to catch it and cook it for dinner. Steve wanted to catch it, tie a rope to its nose, tow it behind the ship, and use it as a water ski.
Steve is a bit strange.
Found an empty life boat today. Fuzzbeard decided we needed practice, so we boarded, looted, and sunk her. Of course only two or three of us could fit in the boat a time, so we had to form small groups and take turns leaping into it and yelling "Aargh" and other pirate-like phrases, to which insult the boat usually responded by capsizing and soaking the lot of us. Things went better after the sinking though, since the best part was splitting up the loot. I got a barnacle and a half. Fuzzbeard took two, which made everyone mad. I think a few of them are plotting a mutiny.
Steve and Jim woke me up last night and told me of their plan to take over the ship. It won't be hard--everyone is still grumpy about Fuzzbeard taking a larger portion of the loot. There was only one obstacle, and that was that we would have to do away with Fuzzbeard. No one knew how, and no one was letting Timmy do any more practicing. We spent hours trying to figure out the problem, and finally decided to hire an assassin.
This morning Steve brought out one of his messenger pigeons and we tied the request for a professional assassin to its leg. Well, as we were up on deck and getting ready to release it, a hatch started to open, so we released it quickly. It turned out to be Timmy, who saw the bird flying over the ship and decided to get some more practice. Anyway, he actually hit the thing. When he picked it up and found the note, he grabbed it and started running toward the main cabin yelling, "Captain Fuzzbeard! Someone sent us a letter!" Well, Steve got this wild look in his eyes, tackled Timmy, snatched the paper away from him, and ate it. Timmy got up and looked at him for a while. Then he yelled back towards Fuzzbeard's cabin, "Never mind, Steve just ate it." The lack of a response was either a sign that Fuzzbeard was too shocked for words, or like the rest of us, had come to expect this kind of thing from Steve.